Laugh of the Day

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partialsponge bath.
'Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, 'I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worryabout his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and histesticles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, veryclosely..... .A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?'

***

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
"Quick," said the woman to her lover, "into the closet!", and she pushed him in the closet stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.
"Who are you?" he asked him.
"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone, " said the exterminator.
"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.
"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards."